Books I’ve Read

These pages are a list of books I have read around adoption as family.  Some books are obviously filtered by my personal experience for they likely appear to a more objective observer as having a rather thin connection to the world of adoption. I add no comment as we are individual in what we take from a book.  I do make some value judgement in that I pop an asterisk or two in front of the books more valuable to me personally, at the time of reading. Incidentally, fairly nearly 100% of the books are from where ever my current regional library was at the time of reading.

Legend: * – useful

              **- useful AND a good read

             ***-YES!

Topics:

Becoming Family: Russia, the process of adoption, memoirs and novels

Being Family: looking at being family in adoption, memoirs, novels and specific issues- anxiety, depression, addiction, FASD and homelessness

Becoming Family  

Russia

Out of Line: growing up soviet    Tina Grimberg   2007

**Secondhand Time: the last of the Soviets     Svetlana Alexievich    2016   Post Soviet interviews of life in the Soviet period. 

**The Girl from the Metropol Hotel: growing up in communist Russia    Ludmilla  Petrushevskaya  2006

*Mothers of Misery   David L. Ransel   1988    The history of orphanages in Russia. 

The Last Man in Russia      Oliver Bullough      2013   One perspective on alcoholism in Russia.

**Little Failure    Gary Shteyngart   2014   A memoir that begins in Russia, influencing an immigrant’s life.

The Future Is History: how totalitarianism reclaimed Russia      Masha Gessen    2017

The Possessed: adventures with Russian books and the people who read them     Elif Batuman 2010

The Process of Adoption

**Lost and Found: the adoption experience    Betty Jean Lifton   1979   Together with the following book, may be still the gold standard of required reading in Adoption.

**Journey of the Adopted Self: a quest for wholeness    Betty Jean Lifton     1994  

**Attaching in Adoption: practical tools for today’s parents    Deborah D. Gray   2002   My  first exposure to the importance of hugging and bonding.   She urges adoptive parents to hug a lot: still the most concrete advice I’ve found.

*Understanding Attachment: parenting, child care and emotional development     Jean Mercer   2006

*Thinking Critically about Child Development: examining myths and misunderstandings    Jean Mercer   2016

Great Myths of Child Development   Stephen Hupp,  Jeremy Jewell   2015

**Born for Love: why empathy is essential – and endangered    Maia Szalavitz, Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.  2010

Adopting Older Children: a practical guide to adopting and parenting children over age four      Stephanie Bosco-Ruggiero, MA,  Gloria Russo Wassell, MS, LMHC,  Victor Groza, PhD    2014

A Legacy of Divorce    Judith Wallerstein   2000

Adopting Maternity: white women who adopt transracially or transnationally       Nora Rose Moosnick   2004

Attachment Processes in Couple and Family Therapy     Susan M Johnson, Valerie P. Wiflen, (eds.)  2005

Models of Clinical Intervention: attachment based family therapy for depressed adolescents Guy S Diamond, PhD, Gary M. Diamond, PhD, Suzanne A. Levy, PhD   2014

The Inner Life of Animals: love, grief, and compassion: surprising observations of a hidden world    Peter Wohllenben     2017

Memoirs of Adoption

*The Mistress’s Daughter: a memoir    A.M. Homes   2007

*Blue Nights     Joan Didion   2011

Found     Jennifer Laucu

Philomena    (movie)   2013

Me, Myself, and Why   Jennifer Ouellette   2014

A long Way Home   Saroo Brierley   2013

Leave Me Alone, I’m Reading and Losing Myself in Books       Maureen Corrigan   2005

*Rescuing Julia Twice: a mother’s tale of Russian adoption and overcoming Reactive Attachment Disorder   Tina Traster   2014

“Flight of the Wendybird” Lynn Coady   from   Great Expectations: twenty-four true stories about childbirth     Dede Crane,  Lisa Moore(eds.)   2008

* Identical Strangers: a memoir of twins separated and reunited       Elyse Schein, Paula Bernstein    2007

*Three Identical Strangers                CNN documentary          February   2019

*All You Can Ever Know: a memoir        Nicole Chung      2018

Inheritance: a memoir of genealogy, paternity, and love Dani Shapiro 2019

*Lucky Girl: a memoir    Mei-Ling  Hopgood       2009

*** Stolen From Our Embrace: the abduction of First Nations children and the restoration of Aboriginal communities Suzanne Fournier and Ernie Crey 1997

Beautiful Scars: Steeltown secrets, Mohawk Skywalkers and the road home Tom Wilson 2017

Novels referencing Adoption

A Casual Vacancy    JK Rowling   2012

And the Mountains Echoed      K Hosseini   2013

Cider House Rules   John Irving   2000

The Cuckoos Calling      R Galbraith (JK Rowling)   2013

Black Dogs     Ian McEwan   1998

Before We Were Yours   Lisa Wingate   2017     Inspired by the Tennessee Children’s Home Society adoption scandal

The Children Act   Ian McEwan    2014

Run    Ann Patchett    2007

Digging to America Anne Tyler 2006

Being Family              

Hold On To Your Kids: why parents need to matter more than peers       Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. , Gabor Mate, M.D.   2004

*When Parents Hurt: compassionate strategies when you and your grown children don’t get along    Joshua Coleman   2007

*Coyote Medicine: lessons from Native American healing   Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D., Ph.D.   1997

*Coyote Healing: miracles in native medicine   Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D., Ph.D   2003

**Coyote Wisdom: the power of story in healing      Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D., Ph.D.   2005

*Narrative Medicine: the use of history and story in the healing process    Lewis Mehl-Madrona, Ph.D.  2007

*Healing the Mind Through the Power of Story: the promise of narrative psychiatry      Lewis Mehl-Madrona, Ph.D.      2010

*Remapping Your Mind: the neuroscience of self-transformation through story    Lewis Mehl-Madrona, Ph.D.    2015

IQ: A Smart History of a Failed Idea   Stephen Murdoch    2007

David and Goliath: underdogs, misfits, and the art of battling giants   Malcolm Gladwell   2009

Extra Sensory: the science and pseudoscience of telepathy and other powers of the mind      Brain Clegg    2013    Included because maybe, just maybe, there are other ways to connect with my son’s mind.  With this I have read some fairly new age-ish  renditions of quantum physics , all in the hope that maybe, just maybe.

On the Move: a life    Oliver Sacks    2015

Consciousness Beyond Life: the science of the near-death experience    Pim Von Lommel   2010     Included because along with Joseph Campbell’s writings, it confirms my chosen belief that we are each on a journey

The Application of Impossible Things   Natalie Sudman   2012

A Guided Tour of Hell: a graphic memoir   Samuel Bercholz, Pema  Namdel Thaye     2016

***The Silence of Jesus: the authentic voice of the historical man   James Breech   1983   A perspective on the Good Samaritan and Prodigal Son

Myths to Live By   Joseph Campbell   1972

The Power of Myth   Joseph Campbell   1988

From Science to God: a physicist’s journey into the mystery of consciousness   Peter Russel    2000

Waking from Sleep: why awakening experiences occur and how to make them permanent   Steve Taylor    2010

Supersense : why we believe in the unbelievable   Bruce Hood    2009

Ungifted: intelligence redefined    Scott Barry Kaufman   2013

Far from the Tree: parents, children and the search for identity    Andrew Solomon    2012

*The Brain’s Way of Healing: remarkable discoveries and recoveries from the frontiers of brain science    Norman Doidges     2007

*The Brain that Changes Itself: stories of personal triumph from the frontiers of neuroplasticity   Norman Doidges   2015

The Idiot Brain: what your head is really up to   Dean Burnett    2016

My stroke of Insight: a brain scientist’s personal journey      Jill Bolte Taylor   2006

The Male Brain: a breakthrough understanding of how men and boys think   Loann  Brizendine    2010

The Unmade Bed: the messy truth about men and women in the 21st century    Stephen Marche, with Sarah Fulford     2017

Hallucinations   Oliver Sacks     2012

*Thinking, Fast and Slow   Daniel Kahneman    2011

**Living in Limbo: families journeying toward understanding      Mavis Olesen, Ph.D.,  Dallas Williams     2003

“Why Do I Love These People?”: understanding, surviving, and creating your own family  Po Bronson    200

***Strangers Drowning: grappling with impossible idealism, drastic choices, and overpowering urge to help Larissa MacFarquhar 2015

The Deepest Well: healing the long-term effects of childhood adversity Nadine Burke Harris, MD 2018

*** The Master Plan: my journey from life in prison to a life of purpose Chris Wilson with Bret Witter 2019

The Art of Memoir Mary Karr 2015

On Writing: a memoir of the craft Stephen King 2010

Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark 2019

Memoirs of Being Family

***A Mother’s Reckoning: living in the aftermath of tragedy    Sue Klebold    2016

The Sum of Our Days    Isabelle Allende    2008

Paula    Isabelle Allende    1994

Expecting Adam: a true story of birth, rebirth and everyday magic    Martha Beck    2000

Swing Low: a life    Miriam Toews    2000

Jupitor’s Travels   Ted Simon    2005

Hillbilly Elegy: a memoir of a family and culture in crisis     J.D.  Vance     2016

Living with a Wild God: a nonbeliever’s search for the truth about everything        Barbara Ehrenreich       2014

Encountering Our Wild God:ways to experience his untamable presence every day Kim Meeder 2018

Love Works Like This: moving from one kind of life to another     Lauren Slater    2014

The Rules Do Not Apply   Ariel Levy    2017

Confessions of a Sociopath: a life spent hiding in plain sight      M.E. Thomas   2013

The Glass Castle Jeannette Walls 2005

Novels referencing Difficulties in Being Family

A Casual Vacancy   JK Rowling     2012

The Good House   Ann Leary      2013

Maya’s Notebook   Isabelle  Allende     2013

All My Puny Sorrows      Miriam Toews     2015

***A Complicated Kindness     Miriam Toews      2005  

Help for Anxiety and Depression

***Hope and Help for Your Nerves   Dr. Claire Weekes     1969     Dealing with fear of the feelings that fear itself had aroused

How to Meditate: a guide to self-discovery    Laurence LeShan       1999

Waking the Tiger: healing trauma     Peter Levine    1997

The Science of Yoga: the risks and rewards     William Broad    2012

Mindfulness for Beginners    Jon Kabat Zinn    2006

The Happiness Hypothesis: finding modern truth in ancient wisdom   Jonathan Haidt    2006

The Joy Diet: ten daily practices for a happier life    Martha Beck     2003

Steering by Starlight    Martha Beck   2008

Finding your Way in a Wild New World   Martha Beck   2012

**Full Catastrophe Living: using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness      Jon Kabat Zinn     1990

Radical Acceptance: embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha    Tara Brach   2003

Freedom from Depression: a practical guide for the journey    James Gordon    2012

Loving What Is: four questions that can change your life    Byron Katie      2003

Anxious: using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety    J Ledoux    2015

Meditations for Fidgety Skeptics: a 10% happier how-to book   Dan Harris    2017

Rewire Your Anxious Brain: how to use the neuroscience of fear to end anxiety, panic, and worry    Catherine Pittman     2015

The Compass of Pleasure: how our brains make fatty food, orgasm, exercise, marijuana, generosity, vodka, learning and gambling feel so good       David J. Linden       2011Top of Form

The Power of Acceptance: finding peace from anxiety and panic attacks    Judith Bemis       2008

The Mindful Way Through Anxiety: break free from chronic worry and reclaim your life     Susan M. Orsillo, Lizabeth Roemer,  Zindel V. Segal     2011   

Learning to Breathe: a mindfulness curriculum for adolescents to cultivate emotion regulation, attention, and performance    Patricia C. Broderick    2013

Seeking Serenity: the 10 new rules for health and happiness in the age of anxiety     Amanda Enayati     2015 

I Want to Change My Life: skills for anxiety, depression, addiction and life   Steven Melemis     2010

Overcoming the Fear of Fear: how to reduce anxiety sensitivity   Sherry Stewart Ph.D., Steven Taylor, Ph.D. Margo Watt, Ph.D.    2007

The Mind and the Brain: neuroplasticity and the power of mental force    Jeffrey Schwartz, Sharon Begley    2003

**You are Not Your Brain: the 4-step solution for changing bad habits, ending unhealthy thinking, and taking control of your life    Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D. and Rebecca Gladding, M.D.      2011

The Body Keeps the Score: brain, mind and body in the healing of trauma    Bessel A. van der Kolk   2014

**Learned Optimism: how to change your mind and your life   Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.    2006

** Bright-Sided: how the relentless promotion of positive thinking has undermined America     Barbara Ehrenreich   2009    A counterpoint: keeping things in perspective, questioning the scientific support for the trend toward positive thinking.

The Power of Now: a guide to spiritual enlightenment   Eckhart Tolle     1999   Flipping through it now, lines  I underlined are about the “letting go” concept that tends to befuddle me when I try to enact or live it.

Freud: inventor of the modern mind   Peter D. Kramer    2006

Antidote: happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking    Oliver Burkeman    2012

Yoga Therapy for Stress and Anxiety: create a personalized holistic plan to balance your life    Robert Butera,     Erin Byron    2015

Healing Developmental Trauma: how early trauma affects self-regulation, self-image and the capacity for relationship   Laurence Heller   Aline La Pierre      2012

**How God Changes Your Brain: breakthrough findings from a leading neuroscientist          Andrew Newberg,  Mark Robert Waldman    2009

What Happy Women Know: how new findings in positive psychology can change women’s lives for the better     Dan Baker, Ina Yalof    2007

The Sleep Revolution: transforming your life, one night at a time     Arianna Huffington      2016

Maybe You should Talk to Someone     Lori Gottlieb    2019

Memoirs dealing with Anxiety and Depression

The Happiness Project: or why I spent a year trying to sing in the morning, clean my closets, fight right, read Aristotle, and generally have more fun    Gretchen Rubin    2009

Monkey Mind: a memoir of anxiety    Daniel Smith     2012

**My Age of Anxiety: fear, hope, dread and the search for peace of mind.     Scott Stossel    2014

*10% Happier: how I tamed the voice in my head, reduced stress without losing my edge, and found self-help that actually works     Dan Harris    2014

Learning to Breathe: my yearlong quest to bring calm to my life    Priscilla Warner    2011

Hi, Anxiety: life with a bad case of nerves    Kat Kinsman    2016

In Praise of Messy Lives: essays    Katie Roiphe    2012

**The Hope Circuit: a psychologist’s journey from helplessness to optimism     Martin E.P. Seligman    2018

Daring: my passages: a memoir   Gail Sheehy     2014

Dealing with Addictions

What You Can Change… and What You Can’t: the complete guide to successful self-improvement     Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D.      2007

**The Biology of Desire: why addiction is not a disease     Marc Lewis, Ph.D.    2015

**Unbroken Brain: a revolutionary new way of understanding addiction      Maia Szalavitz    2016

Inner Paths to Outer Space: journeys to alien worlds through psychedelics and other spiritual technologies     Rick Strassman, M.D.  Slawek Wojtowicz, M.D.   Luis Eduardo Luna, Ph.D.  and Ede Frecka, M.D.  2008

Drink: the intimate relationship between women and alcohol     Ann Dowsett Johnston     2013

**In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: close encounters with addiction      Gabor Mate M.D.    2012

Addiction and Grief: letting go of fear, anger and addiction    Barb Rogers     2011

Addiction as an Attachment Disorder: implications for group therapy   Philip J. Flores Ph.D.    2004

Helping the Addict You Love: the new effective program for getting the addict into treatment    Laurence M Westreich, M.D.     2007

**When the Body Says No: the cost of hidden stress     Gabor Mate, M.D.  2004

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous           Bill W.    1939

Co-dependent No More: how to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself     Melody Beattie   1989(paperback)

*The Sober Truth: debunking the bad science behind 12-step programs and the rehab industry    Lance Dodes    2014

Addicted: in the belly of the beast.    Lorna Crossier   Patrick Lane    2006

Desire: where sex meets addiction    Susan Cheevers     2008

Addiction: why can’t they just stop   John Hoffman and Susan Froemke,( ed.)    2007

*Arresting Hope: women taking action in prison health inside out       Ruth Elwood, Mo Korchinski, Lynn Fels , Carl Leggo    2014

Addict in the Family: stories of loss, hope, and recovery     Beverly Conyers   2003

**Fighting for Space: how a group of drug users transformed one city’s struggle with addiction   Travis Lupick    2017

**Blue Dreams: the science and story of the drugs that changed our minds   Lauren Slater    2018

Addiction Solution: treating our dependence on opioids and other drugs    Lloyd I. Sederer    2018

American Fix: inside the opioid addiction crisis and how to end it    Ryan Hampton   2018

Beyond Addictions: how science and kindness help people change    Jeffrey Foote      2014

An Army of Problem Solvers: reconciliation and the solutions economy      Shaun Loney    before 2017

***Firewater: how alcohol is killing my people (and yours) Howard R. Johnson 2016

Memoirs Dealing with Addictions

Broken: my story of addiction and redemption    William Cope Moyers    2006

***Memoirs of an Addicted Brain: a neuroscientist examines his former life on drugs     Marc Lewis, Ph.D.    2011

Blackout : remembering things I drank to forget   Sarah Hepola    2015

**Addiction – A Mother’s Story: my son’s descent into addiction and where it took us     June Ariano-Jakes    2012

**Wasted: an alcoholic therapist’s fight for recovery in a flawed treatment system    Michael Pond and Maureen Palmer    2016

Dry: a memoir    Augusten Burroughs     2004

God if You are Not Up There I’m F*cked   Darrell Hammond    2011

**Beautiful Boy: a father’s journey through his son’s addiction     David Scheff      2007           

*Lit    Mary Karr    2009

Being Flynn     Nick Flynn    2010

Stoned Again: the high times and strange life of a drugs correspondent    Mike Sager   2015(paperback)

Life     Keith Richards    2010

**Drunk Mom: a memoir      Jowita Bydlowska            2013

**Mayhem: a memoir   Sigrid Rausing   2017

Love Works Like This: moving from one kind of life to another    Lauren Slater   2002

Ninety Days: a memoir of recovery     Bill Clegg    2012

Tweak: growing up on methamphetamines Nic Sheff 2008

We All Fall Down Nic Sheff 2011

FASD

**Broken Cord: a family’s ongoing struggle with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome   Michael Dorris   1989

Beautiful Smiles, Gentle Spirits: Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, a misunderstood problemMargaret A. Michaud & Sacha K. Michaud    2003

Trying Differently Rather than Harder: Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder   Diane Malbin, MSW    2002

The Oasis Guide to Asperger Syndrome: advice, support, insight, and inspiration      Patricia Romanowski Basue, Barbara L. Kirby      2005

FASD: unexpected journeys       FASD Network     2015

**Damaged Angels: a mother discovers the terrible cost of alcohol in pregnancy      Bonnie Buxton     2004

Living with FASD: a guide for parents         Sara Graefe      2004

Homelessness

*Dirty Kids: chasing freedom with America’s Nomads     Chris Urquhart       2017

Mental Health & Addiction Interventions for Youth Experiencing Homelessness: practical strategies for front-line providers      Sean Kidd, Natasha Slesnick, Tyler Frederick, Jeff Karabanow, and Stephen Gaetz    2018

Street Stories: 100 years of homelessness in Vancouver      Michael Barnholden & Nancy Newman    2007

Tweak: growing up on methamphetamines Nic Sheff 2008

***The Librarian’s Guide to Homelessness: an empathy-driven approach to solving problems, preventing conflict, and serving everyone Ryan Dowd 2018